Journey to the end... Destinations are few...

In lamhon ko hum kya naam de…
Ruswaiya aur tanhaiya, harpal badnaam Kare!!!

Ruhon ki doori mein, yaadein horahi gumshuda,
Un nazron ko, ye nazren ab kaise paigaam de
Zustajoo thi penchida si,
Ankahi itni baaton ko, hum kaise sarey aam kahen?

Kaafila hai durr aa nikala, humara bhie,
Fanaah na hua Dard ka wo ehsaas, ab bhi,
Rishta na raha zinda ab dilon mein,
Kahin jo phir ho jaaye mulakat, hum kaise unhe salam kare?

To the countless days and nights,

The souls wrapped in each other tight

The senses embedded to unite.

Arms swaying in each other,

Like a reptilian haunt

Or a spiral-clasp immensely tied

More so to reassure than to dent it,

There was a relation, we wrought it, right?

To the butterfly kisses or

To just holding hands whole night.

To smooth whispers or

Affraying from covering up mosquito-net each time.

To cuddling up or getting clinched up,

To tender kisses on forehead,

Several sneak outs, to just hug and hold

And to ask “You love me, right?”

Each moment reincarnated with reminiscence

But you manage to forget them?

Isn’t that a sign?

Did you actually forget them? Or I do not have an answer?

I guess, I feel, I might!!!

Was it, was it a lie, camouflaged in pretence,

And with dubiously hypocrite social pride?

Yes, I have an answer!

Lack of trust, faith, respect, belongingness,

And the answer to the only question,

“You Love Me, Right?”

Seeing you . . .What it meant!

With the sword in my hand,
I am running into the battlefield.

With love for the End,
I am enduring the remaining.

For the Mighty Life,
I Vanquish,
Pretense and Sin of Inanity.
I Snatch,
Divinity and Serenity for Eternity.

Ek surmayi sa qwab wo, gulistan hai!
Bebasi sa aasman, dur dur tak firta hai!
Yakin kar na paaye, kaise karen!!
Junoon ab bhie wo he utna hai!!!

Weekend Weekend...
Yes Papa!!

Running Away???
No Papa!!

Telling lies??
No Papa!!

48 Hrs!!!

Ha Ha Ha...!!!

Chah key bhie, bhula na paoge!
Ek din, yaad aayenge hum itna,
Dundo kahin, humein na dhund paoge!

Zinda hain hum bhie, zinda ho tum bhie,
Par Zindagi ko, kaise ji paoge?

Saanson ko akele tanha,
Khud ki he saanson mein paoge,
Jo saansen humari, na ghuli ho unmein,
To phir, kaise muskuraoge?

Raaste hain anginat, lambe,
Kab tak, humsafar hai jo tumhara,
Chaurahon mein us-say, najren chupaoge?

Kabhie toh dekhoge Sapne,
Kaise unmein, humein rok paoge?

Jitni yaadein, hum ji rahen hain,
Ek din, unhe tum apne sirhaane,
Karahata paoge!!!

Chut gaye jo, haathon se haath,
Dil se dil, kaise tod paoge?
Dard k ye rishtey,
Kitne dino tak nibhaoge?

Pyar hai jo itna,
wo kaise bhula paoge?

Yaad aayenge hum, humesha...
Humein kabhie nahi bhula paoge!!!
Dhundo kahin, humein na dhund paoge!!

I am thunder-stormed with one very important phase in my life (Once Again) - One where life changes, one where vision changes, one where people change, one where priorities change... So many times it has happened earlier!!

So many things not decided... so many things to do... So much to achieve... so much to plan...

There was this tight wrapper around, throughout, do the expected, do what is required... but I feel, I am not set to just keep surviving with all these expectations, I don't know how many I have passed and how many I have failed... But I know there is so much more soil beneath... All what is required is, digging!!

As this Deepawali approaches... it reminds me of, where I was last year... I am still at the same phase of my life... NO CHANGES!!! How can a circumstance just freeze my life like this!!!

When everything is moving on... Why am i so constant...!

So the first thing which I can do is, chalk out a Plan of Change... and run towards executing it.

1st - I am going to start that soon with my job!!!

Rest as it happens will soon be here!!! Wherever I am after 5 years from now... I surely will miss this time as well.. and may be a lottttt... Bahut!!!

Holding the light of darkness!
You have been walking life's path mean…

Making the possible impossible!
You have been running across deep sea…

Speaking the Phronesisaical!
You have been expressing the deaf

With the only colour Grey!
You have been drawing the Rainbow pristine!

Look at the Sky, look at the Sea!
Even they are trying to be…
Give them a span, be the originally sheen!!

Saturday saying "Hello!"
Sunday - "I am coming Along!
Try catching both of us,
You got forty Eight Hours!"

I wonder in dismay!
Is this happening again?
Wait wait wait wait!
Give me a moment, to begin!
Wait wait wait...
This time IF I catch you!
Will not let you go away!

I have started taking driving classes, I chose Hyundai – Santro as the car I wanted to learn driving with. Till date I have taken some 5-6 each half an hour driving classes and I already feel like I can drive a truck, at max 10km/hr speed though

We took NH 37 today morning for one of our client visit. We were mesmerized with the green paddy fields, green mountains surrounded by all green tress. It seems the barks of the trees are so shy that they have also turned green due to constant social burden. Yeah absolutely baptized, that’s what they are doing. The whole state of Meghalaya celebrates Christmas more than any other festival. It is such a wonderful part of India. Assam the Green Land with The Giant Brahmaputra, Arunachal the Himalayan foothills and Meghalaya the mix of both. That is what I have been able to witness till now and I am engrossed in the mystery of its history. There is so much more to it than what it seems on face… so much more!

Well! I am diverting from the actual topic and adrenalin rush that I wanted to share!

So, I couldn’t resist but ask Jisku (The cab driver) that I wanted to drive. Yeah I know Highway, only 5-6 driving classes that too Santro, this was Tata Sumo. I tried resisting me, but I have done that through out my life… So many times I have felt to break out… and this was one of those moments… It was just for driving anyways. Jisku showed a lot of confidence in me more than I was feeling inside for me. As I got up on the Power Seat, I felt tall, I could control, only a couple of minutes and I was hitting 60km/hr. I did look at the speedometer and felt proud of myself. It has been my dream – long drive to countryside, with my life beside me, romantic music. As far as I could see it was all green. Jisku had an assorted song compilation of AR Rehman’s composition in a CD. This time it was playing – “Radha Kaise na Jale” from “Lagaan”

As the road started becoming more and more curvy, slanting, I managed really well to keep the speed and swing with it until we exited Assam border and approached Meghalaya border. The security forces had barricaded the road with empty coal tar drums made of tins. While I tried to maintain discipline of the Zig-Zag and was half way between the barricade after swinging left and right as if I was on one of those video game’s power seats, a goat that was resting behind one of those drums, came out to appreciate my driving skills. It was so confidently applauding my full throttle swinging Sumo that it felt I would fly above it, while it will keep appreciating. The confidence in it motivated me to such extreme that I couldn’t pull my leg of the accelerator. As the car felt left alone, not appreciated of its power steering, broad muscular presence; reality stroked both of us (Me and the Goat), me in dismay, it in SHOCK, as the ears of the car kissed the goat. I came down from the pedestal of being M. Schumacher and the Goat suddenly proved my worst enemy. I was terribly shocked that I have killed a GOAT, who kills a goat?

A poor goat, I started cursing myself, why was I so childish to break out, I wish I haven’t broken its bones. I stopped my car went down to meet the goat in person, as the village people started gathering. I felt I am going to be hanged for taking life! The people are pretty serious in this part of the India. It reminded me of the museum, I visited in Shillong. They have displayed statues and pictures of the tribal people of North East. Their statues made in clay, I remember seeing only one or maximum two tribes without a weapon and a pose of killing someone. I could literally feel all the stories of our guide, in the museum, was going to come true today or otherwise there remains only way of survival, the way as explained by Brijesh (the other driver).

Two weeks back we went to Tejpur – North Assam, where brave Brijesh saved a chicken, it was trying to commit suicide by running under our car. Yeah they cross roads when they want to and they don’t like Zebras and so they don’t cross over them. It pretty much seemed like a plot by the local villagers, who keep their live stock tied on the main roads or leave them to roam freely. They train them to find nice car tyres and once they do, they all flock the killer in the car and demand like 3 times the price of the chicken. The idea of asking 3 times the original price. Well!! As it was not a cock it was a chicken, she would have given birth to another chicken that would have again given birth to another chicken and now they have lost all of them. Their logic is simple. Who would not agree to that?

I felt I will have to convince these people and all I know is English, Hindi or Bengali which is like half Assamese. They speak Garo, interacting with them would be like I asking in English for six inches Italian bread, baked, with mozzarella cheese, lettuce, olives, pineapple, cucumber, tomatoes, chillies, mayonnaise and a little bit of ketchup sprinkled with salt and pepper, to a girl serving at a sandwich place in Israel country side. The only option which looked like I had in my hands was to ask them how much? Just tell me how much? I didn’t even want to check if it was he or she. Just tell me how much.

As I walked towards the goat, I could hear it cry as I had destroyed the trust in it. I do not know if it was a miracle or it actually could forgive me. It got up and started walking. More than anything else I was thankful to it. I wanted to hug it but the place was crowded. Jisku suggested we should leave. I happily gave him the hot seat and came back to my original seat.

As we started cruising again, Jisku told us “Sir, if there is a cow crossing the road or strolling on the road one should pass from its behind at cows doesn’t turn back they walk past straight and crosses the road and if there is any goat they have a tendency of turning back and going to the original position so we should pass from its front and if there is a Sardar on the road we should just STOP”

This drive also ended with a lesson and more so ever with a question that why can’t our government starts to fence the highways. There are so many animals dying everyday on these roads all over India. Every one of us keeps seeing such accidents and crushed bodies of animals, who also deserve a life!!!

Amazing Conversation!!! Just wanted to share!!


Wo jaari rahi thi, hajaron mil door, humesha k liye.
Mujhe ussay dekhna he thaa.. Ek aakhri baar..
Jaane se pahele ek baar milna.. kyun jarury hota hai?
Aisa Kyun Hota hai?

Jay:- Hey Meera!
Meera:- You know what iske baad humein international rate pe baat karni hogi, toh board karne tak hum log saste mein chat karte hain
Jay:- Smart!
Meera:- Toh kahan pahunche tum?
Jay:- Parking lot tak jaraha hun, just leaving now
Meera:- Aacha suno IMPORTANT, wo tumhara laal joota jisko tum bahut hep n stylish samajhte ho, sab log uska majak udaate hai.. Fek dena usko.
Jay:- WHAT?
Meera:- Aur moonche kabhie mat rakhna, shady lagte ho… samjhe?? Like a pimp!!
Jay:- Tumhara dimaag thik hai? Bahut cool lagta hun main moonchon mein!! No?? Pimp??
Meera:- Jab tak main tumhari GF thi, ye sab khul k nahi bol sakti thi, ab keh sakti hun!!
Jay:- Break ka pahela fayda… Aur Batao!!
Meera:- Aur humesha yaad rakhna.. Jab tum koshish nahi karte ho na toh jyada hot lagte ho, main aise he fansi thi. Jab tum try karte ho na Idiot lagte ho!
Jay:- Hey Thanks! Ab mujhe ye samajh nahi aaraha hai ye funda use kaise karun, kaise na try karun kisi k liye, na try kaise kiya jaata hai?
Meera:- Cover karke chalo yaar, Chupa Ke! Tumko kabhie pata chala tha main bhie try kar rahi thi, tumhare liye!!
Jay:- You know what I hate that, tum sab kuch chupa k rakhti ho.. dusra aadmi insecure feel karta hai
Meera:- I know koshish karungi badalne ki, Ok?
Jay:- Jab tum baat karti ho bahut jyada direct hojaati ho, bahut log handle nahi kar paate, aur tumhara music yaar, saddi hui choice hai tumhari, nafrat hai mujhe tumhare Ipod k har ek gaane se!
Meera:- Really? Mujhe nahi pata tha, aur tumhe bhie toh nahi pata tha, mujhe nafrat hai tumhari sister se
Jay:- Neha?? That’s funny!!
Meera:- All the time… yak yak yak yak!! Aur tum bahut jyada mirror mein dekhte ho apne aap ko, girls bilkul pasand nahi karti, mat kiya karo, saara chance kharab hojayega!!
Air-hostess:- Ma’am may I request you to switch off the phone.
Jay:- Aur Tum nose ring kabhie mat pahenana, aur kabhie anjaan logon k saath drink mat karna Meera!!! Maine tumhara itna fayda uthaya hai na Jaaneman!!
Meera:- Smarty!! Mujhe humesha pata hota tha ki tum kya kar rahe ho!! Samjhe!! Mostly mujhe jyada chadi bhie nahi hoti thi, bus acting kar rahi hoti thi, ki kuch toh karoo yaar!!
Jay:- Ha ha ha haha!!! Kya?? Toh bol deti yaar main mana thodi karta!
Meera:- Aur pata hai maine kya fayda uthaya hai? Aaj admit kar rahi hun, tumhari guilt ka!! Itni jaldi apni galti mat maana karo.. Avoid sorry!!
Jay:- And you avoid purple, avoid green, avoid brown, actually green thik hai par kuch shades mein!
Air-hostess:- Ma’am please switch off
Meera:- Tumhare room k posters, tumhare blue sunglasses.. faaltu!! Throw!
Jay:- Jara sambhal k smile karna! Mard mein bahut dard paida kar deti hai tumhari smile!!

(And it continues... for days)
Meera:- Phir toh mujhe Vikram joshi pe smile karna chaheye, Delhi ka restoration project head kar raha hai, kal meeting hai, I hope kisi tarah uske group mein ghus jaun!
Jay:- Ghus jaogi Meera, tumhe koi nahi rok sakta, bahut jyada smart ho, aur halat se samjhauta karne k liye kitni taiyaar ho tum!
Meera:- Meri college gang mein se kayi saari wapas mil gayi, jaise Kashish, meri ex-room mate tumhe aachi lagegi, tumhare type ki hai.
Jay:- Meri type kya hai? Mujhe lagta tha tum ho meri type!!
Meera:- TOH JAY MAIN JAA CHUKI HUN TUMHARE ANDAR SE???
Jay:- Pata hai? mujhe aisa lagta tha, magar uss din CD store mein ek ladki thi, mere type ki, patta bhie de rahi thi, main try nahi kar raha tha na,
Meera:- Hehehe
Jay:- Main pass gaya toh usne smile ki, maine bhie smile kiya, magar phir main mud k bahar chala gaya, tumhari wajah se Meera!!
Meera:- Collin!! Big crush on you.
Jay:- Serious? Mujhe lagta tha majak hai…!
Meera:- Try karo, khudka bhie bhala hojaega, mujhse bhie peecha chutega tumhara!
Jay:- AUR TUMHARI KYA STORY HAI? MAIN OUT HOCHUKA HUN? YA ABTAK CREASE PAR HUN?
Meera:- Jay mujhe tumse ek baat karni thi, ye jo mera boss hai na Vikram, London mein iske papers padti thi main, saari duniya mein art restoration kiya hai isne.. Offcourse!! Raadhika aur Jiju samajhte hai ki issay bada koi cool cat hai he nahi is duniya mein! Ab ye jo Vikram hai.. mujhse keh raha tha.. main uske saath.. u know!! Dinner n all!!!
Jay:- Ek second Meera Koi Knock kar raha hai.. hold on please!
Jay:- Hmmm sorry!!! kya keh rahi tum? Hmm hm ok!
Meera:- Dekho banda aacha hai, wo problem nahi hai!!
Jay:- So.. dekh lo.. chali jao.. dinner pe..
Meera:- Jana Chaheye?
Jay:- Kyun nahi!!
Meera:- Waise bhie din bhar uske saath he rehti hun!!
Jay:- Toh saath mein dinner kar liya toh kaun si badi baat hai
Meera:- Baat hai ki.. mujhe lagta hai ki main ussay aachi lagti hun
Jay:- Mujhe lagta hai wo bhie tumhe aacha lagta hai
Meera:- Lekin Uss tarah se nahi
Jay:- Uss tarah se bhie lagega shayad.. agar chance do toh
Meera:- Actually problem ye hai ke hum saath kaam karte hain, kuch gadbad hogayi toh mess hojayega na!!
Jay:- Wow!! Meera mere time pe bhie itna socha tha kya?
Meera:- Sochna chaheye thaa
Jay:- Phir bhie is mess se toh nikal gayi.. ussay bhie nikal jaogi
Meera:- Hehehe.. toh tum kehte ho ki try karna chaheye???
Jay:- 100%
Meera:- Thik hai ..Lekin tum mujhe guide karoge..ye kaam sirf tum kar sakte ho
Jay:- Hmm.. Ok
Meera:- Jo galtiyan tumhare saath ki hain wo dubara nahi karna chahti
Jay:- Hmm.. Ok thik hai.. bubye
Meera:- Bye

Just met rain on the way..!!

It wanted to put the right amount of love.. as I rush down the washed roads, shouldered with the green hillocks, stuffed with grey clouds… streams gushing through rock beds..!! There.. see... the lady, sitting num, at the door of the tin roofed house, waiting for his return!

I can see it all, the fog is giving me way to my another intermediate hault.

I am on my way!!!

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I've done
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know you know I love you so
You know I love you soooo…

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh all the things you do
Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know for you I bleed myself… dry…
For you I bleed myself… dry…

Its true look how they shine for you!!!
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you!!!

I've never seen you looking so lovely... as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright...
I've never seen so many men ask you... if you wanted to dance
They're looking for a little romance, given half a chance

I have never seen that dress you're wearing
Or the highlights in your head that catch your eyes... I have been blind

The lady in red is dancing with me cheek to cheek
There's nobody here, it's just you and me, It's where I wanna be
But I hardly know this beauty by my side
I'll never forget, the way you look tonight!!

I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright... you were amazing
I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side
And when you turned to me and smiled, It took my breath away
I have never had such a feeling
Such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight

The way you look tonight
I never will forget, the way you look tonight

The lady in red
The lady in red
My lady in red (I love you!!!)

Title: Chris De Burgh - Lady In Red lyrics

Artist: Chris De Burgh Lyrics


"So heart touching... so amazing!!!!"

Ehsaaaaan... itna saa kar de…
Mujhe phir... tanha saa kar de...
Tere bina... ji na sakunga...
Mil k ye tujhse... ye keh na sakunga...

Tera mera ye naata kyun toota?
Tera mera ye pyar kyun rootha
Aadhi baatein adhuri raatein...
Reh gayi tere bina...

Tera mera... ye naata kyun toota?
Tera mera... ye pyar kyun rootha
Aadhi baatein... adhuri raatein...
Reh gayi tere bina!!!

Tanhaiyaan... Seh na sakunga...
Tere bina... Ji na sakunga...

Ehsaaaaan... itna saa kar de…
Mujhe phir... tanha saa kar de...
Tere bina... ji na sakunga...
Mil k ye tujhse... ye keh na sakunga...

Tu nahi raha teri yaad reh gayi
Palkon mein teri aas reh gayi
Koi toh hoga bahana bata?
Tujhko bhula dene ka!!!

Tu nahi raha... teri yaad reh gayi...
Palkon mein teri... aas reh gayi...
Koi toh hoga... bahana bata?
Tujhko bhula dene ka!!!

Tanhaiyaan... Seh na sakunga...
Tere bina... Ji na sakunga...

Ehsaaaaan... itna saa kar de…
Mujhe phir... tanha saa kar de...
Tere bina... ji na sakunga...
Mil k ye tujhse... ye keh na sakunga...

Ehsaaaaan...


Amazing lyrics

It is such a perfect day - Cold Play (playing in my head phone). I am positive as I ride the white liner to home.. thinking about her... Cold play is still singing - "The sky could be blue... could be gray... I don't mind.. without you it is just a waste of time"

I have bought this wonderful watch for her. Well it is the most expensive watch I have bought till date. I am feeling very positive and happy, I have a plan, plan to enjoy my 2nd anniversary, where we would just celebrate togetherness... I don't know if I can do that... but I can try... She has to agree to come and see me in the evening though (The background story.. later).

The wind is gushing into me from the windows, I can barely write due to the jerk in the third last seat of the bus, but it helps when there are hardly any people around. It is like my own world here in this weirdly attached tri-seats!

This reminds me of those rides to office together... well.. only her cell phone had FM and it used to be a sweet tussle, who would be listening to those romantic "Gajab ka hai din" but we were very accommodating with one ear plug each. She used to like it slow and soft and I used to like it loud and hard. I don't think I have left any opportunity to irritate her... that time it used to be swinging the volume to the extremes!

After she went to her parents place (Patience!! - The Background story - later), I couldn't hear FM, so I bought a cell phone... When I entered that shop the first criteria was "Show me a cell phone with FM". After that day I had continuously played FM (Yeah! i am a maniac) when I am on my way to office or when I return home...
They played "Gajab ka hai din" the other day.. I enjoyed... but when I used to look at the people outside.. the traffic... everything seemed to be in hurry.. everything thing seemed running... The song was the same, this time even with both the ear phones but the moment was not freezing time as it used to while sharing one ear plug!!!

They have started excavation for the new metro line in the bypass. The city is towards its max urbanization.

The glasses of the window in the bus beside mine are sweating by air condition inside, everyone sitting inside the bus looks the same, all looking out of the window in the same direction. I have no clue what are they searching... How quite it looks for them! They are all moving to the same location, doing the same thing.... "Waiting...!"

I just realized the song list has shuffled... it is playing Dido - Don't leave home (If you are cold I keep you warm... if you are low... just hold on.. coz I will be your safety... o..o.. don't leave home.. Oh how quiet, quiet the world can be
When it's just you and little me)

The couple riding the bike... OH!!! It is Deja vu... I felt I was there riding this bike with her... and right here in the window seat where I am... there was this guy who was staring at us... but I guess I was so flourished with happiness then, that I just didn't realize then!!!

Na jaane koi... kaisi hai ye zindagani... HUMARI ADHURI KAHANI... (Song is shuffling very fast)...

I need to get down... my intermediate halt has come...!!!

Being thoughtful, emotional, sensitive, nostalgic all at one time!!

It is like i want to do something but i don't feel like doing it..
It is like i want to write but can't find words..
It is like i want to listen to a song but I can't find the lyrics..
It is like i want to stay in this world but i want to reach the moon as well..
It is like i want to swim but i want to fly as well..
It is like i want to be awake but i want to sleep as well..
It is like i want to hear but i want to speak as well..

I am going crazzzy... don't know what I have written.

Kisi ko apni amal ka hisaab kya dete!
Sawaal Itne the jawab kya dete!!

Bahut Durr ha baharon ka mausam,
Kaali raat daaman mein ghir aayi hai!!

Mera kuch aisa haal hai,
Himmat nahi ki khudko bayan hum dete!!

Lonely and so lonesome, I was
moving down the road so dark.

Aimlessly I roamed, With no hope in my heart,
When I lost my way to the dream of my days!

Lost and I was,
Shivering, trying to find my way,
Stars were the only option,
As they lightened up my way,
And twinkled to give me a ray!!!!!

As it filtered through the trees,
And washed my way,
Twilight eyes glittered with the shining face,
I could see my destination right away!!

Where the clouds are drying and the sea is crying,
Where the land is evaporating and the mountains are melting,
Where our smiles are dying and our lives are parting,
Where our love’s diminishing and our hearts are shrinking!!

I wish this day and the days next be the days of God;
Where everything falls in for good and for all…
You Smile… you Laugh… you Cheer and you can see it Clear
For all those years which are knocking to enter our sphere!!

I wish you millions of laughter and trillions of Fun..




Wherever I am in this world, or not…
I wish you be the happiest among the billions in this Earth
From the bottom of my heart…!
I wish you the happiest of Birthday and wish it happily returns every year!!
May God always ask Sun to shine brighter where you are!!!

Sooni andheri raaton mein!